Battle Royale - Koushun Takami, Yuji Oniki
Jesus Christ I wonder if I can complain to this tired whore's pimp to get the time and money I spent on it back. Why, yes, I do believe that the analogy of Battle Royale being a badly performing whore IS an appropriate one, and I will take it one step further. This book is a whore who has a sterling reputation from all of the perverts in town, but once you spend the money and set aside the time to experience what you've heard so much about (marathon sex that has influenced and inspired many a younger and more virile whore), you soon realize that she'd rather talk, fart or eat bananas than actually perform. And she has taken so much of your time that you miss the chance to get a refund.

Continuing this theme, when I sold it to Half-Price, I suppose that I participated in human slavery and that I am now a pimp in my own right. I be pimpin books.

All kidding aside - this book did not deserve its sheer mass or its gigantic cast of characters. Like botched socialism, everyone gets a piece of the book but nobody gets a particularily good piece of it. The sociopath - the male one - seems like a robot whose switch was flipped from "asshole without a personality", to, "murderer who thinks that everytime a person dies an angel gets its wings." Everything seemed superfluous and either burned down to overly violent fighting scenes (you know you're in a crazy place when you continue to get the description of how eel-like and slippery a person's intestines are when they fall out of a body), exposition to forward the story that was as subtle and dry as Damian the Antichrist in the middle of the Sahara or heavily scripted parts where you're supposed to feel for the teenage murder fodder.

Really, I started to feel like this was every bad slasher film that I've mistakenly watched.

Dude, don't read this - just go buy the movie adaptation and enjoy the better-written plot and characterization that make it, without a doubt, the best envisioning of the whole "most-dangerous-game/teenager-angst/evil-government" cottage industry that ol' Stevie King made famous with his Long Walk. You may be tempted to read the source material of it, but just don't. Don't.